First Step

We took our first step towards growing our family today…we put our application for adoption in the mail!  As of the beginning of last week, we thought we knew which agency we wanted to work with.  However, weeks ago I had made an appointment with another agency for this past Thursday evening, and we felt compelled to follow through.  This new agency is significantly more expensive that the one we had chosen, so we had more or less written it off.  As it turns out, despite the cost, this new agency is a much better fit for our situation.  J and I both agree that it just feels right.  After spending the weekend looking over old tax returns to find every address we’ve lived at and every job we’ve held for the past ten years, we had the forms filled out, we wrote the first check (of many to come) and we packaged everything into a large manila envelope.  I can’t wait for our first meeting with our social worker!

I also took the big step today of telling my bosses that we have started this journey.  I was very proud of myself for not becoming emotional.  Although adoption is definitely the right path for us, it’s still hard to talk about what brought us to this point.

Despite today’s high points, I had a mini-breakdown tonight when a blogger I follow announced her pregnancy.  I would not wish infertility on anyone, but a small (and bitter) part of me still resents people who get pregnant so easily.  I hope this gets easier with time…

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3 Responses to First Step

  1. Hang in there! In my book that will be published in the spring, I tell of a struggle I had when a friend of mine was able to adopt very quickly (from the time the idea came into her head until it happened–1 year), whereas it took nearly a decade for us. God’s timing was perfect, even though I did not understand it at the time. Thankfully, God continued to love me and guide me and understand me even when I had a difficult time being happy for my friend.
    –Delana
    http://nineyearpregnancy.wordpress.com
    http://delanasworld.wordpress.com

    • Christina says:

      Thanks for your comments, Delana. I know you are right – this will happen when it’s meant to. It’s just easy to forget that in the midst of the struggle. Best of luck with your book!

  2. P.S. I in no way want to sound trite in talking about “timing.” I in no way want to take away from the reality of the struggle. In my book, I explain it like this–

    [My friend smiled and replied, “Yeah, my husband and I have often thought it would be neat to adopt one day.” The way she spoke those words sounded like it would be great if it happened but fine, also, if it never came about—a passing thought for her. But, it was a deep, gut-wrenching passion for me—a God-given passion that would see me through this “pregnancy.” At times, it had ceased to be waiting in anticipation, like a child waits for Christmas morning. It had become an ache, a groan, a raw emotion more similar to a starving person waiting for food.]–from “Nine Year Pregnancy”

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